Thursday, April 12, 2012

My Little Friend

For about the past year, I've had a strange, small lump in the inside of my right elbow. I kind of just thought it was a little cyst or a big pimple, but then it started to grow. Not crazy like I now look like I have a child growing out of my arm, but enough to where it started to bother me and interfere with the function of my right arm a little. I went to three different doctors and no one knew what it was. Finally, an orthopedist sent me for an MRI and guess what? Still no answers. Why, after the hundreds of dollars that I've spent on doctor's appointments, don't these assholes just cut it out? Like seriously. Today I have an appointment to see an ONCOLOGIST. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. A CANCER doctor. WTF. If it's nothing to worry about then why are they sending me to the cancer center at the good hospital 30 miles away instead of just slicing me open and sending it off to a lap. Stupid, if you ask me. And now I have to go for a "consultation" today, which basically means I'm going to spend another stupid co-pay for the doctor to tell me not to worry and that he doesn't know what it is, but he's going to figure it out. MMM HMM. SURE! Heard this one before. I swear, the first scalpel I come across, I'm gonna cut this bad boy out myself. Enough shenannigans and milking my insurance company and my savings account. Take the stupid thing OUT. I bet the removal would be YouTube worthy. If you are weak of stomach, please do not go on YouTube and watch videos of  sebaceous cysts. If you are a popper like me, it's like the most awesome thing ever that you want to look away from but can't. Anyhoo, I'm tired of this little bugger in my arm and I want it gone. I'm going to tell Mr. Fancy Pants Cancer Doctor that if he doesn't take it out, I'm going to take it out myself and see what he says. Ha! Stay tuned, folks. Shit just got real.

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