Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Is anyone still out here? It's been a while...

I know I haven't blogged in forever. I've been trying to grasp what the reason is behind that, and the only thing I can come up with is that I seem to write my best blogs when there is some kind of drama or issue in my life. I get utterly stressed out, and turn to writing to figure it all out in my head. Half of it never makes it to the posting stage, but I at least feel better after getting it all out of my system and onto my computer. That being said, I haven't really had anything that stressful going on lately that I've felt the immediate urge to sit down at my laptop and blog about it. THIS IS A GOOD THING. I'm not complaining at all, I have just come to this realization. Not gonna lie, it's kind of awesome.

And, what's even better? I think I know the reason WHY I'm not nearly as stressed in my life as I have been in the past. It's not a some-thing, but a some-one. I was the biggest freaker outer known to man about everything. I didn't know how to deal with the stress of my life from time to time and I would just lose it occasionally. In the past, the people I was in a relationship with really didn't know how to make me feel any better or make the situation any easier. I was always the one who was left to figure everything out on my own. It was not easy by any means, but I got good at making things work one way or another. But after 15 years of having to figure it all out on my own, I was getting tired of bearing all of the burden myself. What's crazy is that I didn't realize how tired I was getting until I met someone who took some of the burden off of me. Honestly, I had no idea just how much I was dealing with on a daily basis until he came along and said, let me help you a little bit and do this while you're dealing with that. Whoa. Like seriously, I had no idea that men like him still existed. I had heard that there were a few of them still in existence, but I was sure that all of them were either married already or gay. Not to mention he was the LAST guy on earth I ever expected to be like this. But I am SO glad that I was wrong about him and decided to give it a shot with him.

We've been together for only about four months, but in those four months, he has been nothing short of amazing to me. What a wake up call he has been for me. My life has been totally great for the past few months, and I think a lot of my happiness is a direct result of him. No, it's not that I need a man in my life to be happy, but with a man like him  in my life, it's a lot happier. It's nice to not have to figure it all out on my own anymore. When stuff comes up in life, like it always does, we put our heads together and work it out. Together. Like it SHOULD be, but wasn't for me for so long. I am more self-confident because of him. I love myself much more now than I ever have, which in turn allows me to love others more deeply. I'm excited for my future for once. There was a time I didn't even really think about the future, I just lived life day to day waiting for the next disaster to strike. Let me tell you, that's no way to live. I'm excited for Christmas this year. For Thanksgiving. For next Sunday. For no reason at all, other than I get to spend more time with this man. 

I know what you're thinking. You think that it's still "new" and once that wears off, I'll be right back to my old cynical self. I hope that doesn't happen. I don't really think it will. When you are with someone who compliments you as a whole, there's always a new adventure to be had. All I know is that I'm happy I don't have to take on these adventures alone anymore.

So, I'm sorry I've been slacking at blogging lately, it's just that I haven't had much to bitch about. I guess I'm going to have to start taking a new approach to this blog and figure something else out to write about. Family stuff, recipes, I don't know. But when I get it straight in my head, you'll be the first to know.