Today marks the seventh month of my pregnancy with my last child, Alivia Grace. I still can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going by. I think about my other pregnancies and this one seems to have been the easiest one by far, but that doesn't mean it hasn't had it's problems. My back is in a permanent knot on the right side. You can quite literally feel the bump of the knotted muscle at all times. I've seen the chiropractor a few times for it, but that only offers temporary relief and the costs are not something I can afford on a long term basis. It's been chalked up to sciatica by several doctors, but I can't help but wonder if it's something more. This doesn't seem like a normal sciatic nerve problem and while it is worse due to the pregnancy, it shouldn't happen as much as it does when I'm not pregnant. I've had MRI's and CT scans done of my lower spine and they all show nothing, so I'm thinking based on where the pain and the knot is that it must be more related to my hip. It's something I'm going to have to explore further after Alivia is born and I can have more tests done.
Anthony has been a wonderful help to me throughout this pain. Not a day goes by that he doesn't massage my back and my feet in an attempt to make me more comfortable. We had a week or two of insanity a few months ago, but since we've started seeing a counselor, our relationship has been stronger than ever. Our counselor has really given us a lot of tools to help communicate with each other better and it's made us closer and more on track. He has his share of things to improve on, as do I, but we are at least working on them together, as a team, as a family now. He's really putting a lot of effort into this and it reassures me that this family is what he really wants. I find myself falling in love with him all over again, for new reasons and for the old reasons, time and time again. While I could raise these kids and do this on my own, should I have to, I couldn't want anything more than to raise them with him and be the family I've always wanted to have. We still plan on getting married, but that will come in a year or so. Right now, our focus is on the family and on our newest little miracle, due to arrive in October. We both are so excited for Alivia to get here and we both are trying to do what we can to prepare for her arrival. I'm not sure if a shower has been planned for me or not, but I don't really need one. We have a lot of hand-me-down things that have been given to us and all we need to bring her home, we have.
On another note, I'm very concerned for my future sister-in-law. She's 18, but has the maturity of about a 15 year old. While she's a great aunt to the kids and she always does a good job babysitting for us, I worry about her constantly because of the decisions she makes in her life. She should be focused on finishing school and her college plans after school, but she is so concerned with finding a boyfriend that she puts all of her effort and hope into the first person to pay her any kind of attention, no matter how bad of a person they may be. I wish I had more time to spend with her to talk to her and give her guidance. I do the best I can, but I was her age once too and you couldn't tell me anything. But hopefully with a little time and the little advice and life experiences I can share with her, she will realize what she's worth and won't settle for just any old douchebag.
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